my new favorite sandwich

yum! natural touch (from morning star) "tuno" is some good shit! i'd always shyed away from buying it before-i'd heard it was gross. WRRRRONG! i mixed it with diced celery and green onions, dill relish, and vegenaise. toasted some honey wheat berry bread and added romaine lettuce and fresh tomato. i know it's simple, but it's the shizzy. hah.

raise your fist to the sky

1. Who was the last person you yelled at? slim. he snuck up behind me at my work and scared the shit outta me. hah.2. Who was the last person you kissed? matt!3. What was the last memorable book you read? i'm trying to read angela's ashes..4. When did you last dance? goofing off with matt the other day5. What's the last thing you want to yesterday? ???7. When did you last do your ironing? have i ever done any ironing?8. When was the last time you smiled all day? prolly the day i realized matt actually had feelings for me (and every day since)9. What color of socks do you normally wear? i wear decorative socks usually(dr.seuss,stripes, skulls, stars...), or white.10. Did you ever attend a private school? no11. Do you like stuffed animals? i have a few-that i don't want.12. Have you ever smashed pumpkins? no actually13. Can you quote Shakespeare? romeo romeo, where for art thou romeo...i don't like shakespheare really...14. Are you a neat freak? yes and no15. What is the worst injury you have ever given someone? i bit someone in a fight! hah. 16. Do you ever eat lemons plain? i have17. Have you ever fired a gun? not a real one18. Do you own any knee-high boots? heh yes. strangely enough19. Do you have a crush on somebody? my feelings for matt are much more than a silly crush20. Do you like swimming in lakes? depends on the lake21. Have you ever streaked at a football game or any other public event? wha? no.22. What is your favorite gemstone? are turquoise and black onyx gemstones?23. Have you gone on many blind dates? none24. Has someone done something extra nice for you? more times than i prolly deserve25. Did you have a crush on any of your teachers? nopers26. Have you ever been lost in a bad part of a city? sure. i live in the "ghetto of campus"!heh27. Would you rather have a mint or fruit flavored gum? mint28. Do you ever eat food right out of cans or jars? i have29. Has your mind ever gone blank? yeah30. Have you ever met anyone interesting at the laundry mat? noone comes to mind31. Are you kind? i'd like to think so32. Do you consider love a mistake? love is love. how can it be a mistake if it's something real that you feel?33. Do you have any beanie babies? two actually. don't know if they're official or not. adems brother got me a leopard print one years back34. Would you rather be hot or cold? cold35. Is the glass half full, or empty? now that all depends on what's in the glass...36. Do you exercise or work out regularly? oh i try. i do walk/ride my bike to and from work every day at the least.37. Could you kill if your life was threatened? hopefully i'll never be put in that situation

god i wish matt was here...

four tv shows you liked when you were a little kid1. sesame street2. mr. rogers3. 321 contact4. the greatest american hero[four places to go in your area] 1. busters2. cd central3. pops4. arts place[four things to do when you're bored]1. internet2. internet3. internet4. internet[four things that never fail to cheer you up]1. matt2. vinyl3. my cats4. matt[four things you can't live without]1. matt simpson2. water3. friends4. cats[three things about today...]1. it sucks (well, matt's not here...)2. laundry day3. i need to clean (but it's a lazy day so i prolly won't...)[seven things you love]1. matt simpson2. computers3. tyrone4. sophie5. vinyl6. shows7. matt simpson[seven things you dislike] 1. corn2. getting up for work every morning3. the pain in my hip4. rain5. matt not being with me6. led zeppelin7. not being in close touch with crystal[seven things on your desk]1. plant2. water3. watch4. vitamins5. fliers6. phone7. picture of me and matt[seven facts about you]1. i am in love with matt simpson (duh...heh)2. i love my cats (best.cats.ever.)3. i have no freaking talent4. i i have tattoos5. i love collecting vinyl6. i've never had stitches (knock on wood)7. i love stars[7 artists/bands/people should give a listen to]1. the clash2. kid dynamite3. dillinger four4. green day5. the descendents6. billie holliday7. today i wait[3 sweEt things said to you]1. i love you (from matt)2. everything matt says to me3. god i don't know...uh, that my hair is pretty hah..

what's more to know?...

height = 5'8shoe size = 7-71/2hair color = blackhair length = longpets = tyrone and sophie (the two.best.cats.ever.)last movie you rented = igby goes down (and we had it for days and never watched it)last movie you bought = my big fat greek weddinglast song you listened to = i'm listening to darkest hour now-dunno the name of the songs..last song that was stuck in your head = haha.. that new naz (or whatever) song with the little kids singing. thankfully i can't think of how it goes now!last song you've downloaded = i've yet to explore the wonderful world of downloading music...last cd you bought = o brother, where art thou soundtrack on vinyllast cd you listened to = currently darkest hourlast person you called = mattylast Person that called you = matty!last TV show you watched = ? wait, did i do this already??you have a b/f or a g/f? = yepers!!! best.boyfriend.ever.you have a crush on someone? = the one i'm in love with, yes.you wish you could live somewhere else? = sure, sometimesyou think about suicide? = neverothers find you attractive? = shit i dunnoyou want other piercings? = i've always wanted my septum and nipples pierced, but i think i may be done with the whole piercing thing...you want more tattoos? = MOST DEFINITELYyou drink? = yes i doyou do drugs? = noyou smoke? = i quit 1 year, 8 months, and 7 days ago...(still counting! heh)you like cleaning? = no..but i like it when things are clean (i definitely like your answer carmen)you like roller coasters? = yes!!you write in cursive or print? = print, tho it tends to be a blend of both sometimesdo you carry a donor card? = nolong distance relationships = tried that, not into it. well, unless it's that perfect person (matt) and i had to do it-i would. even tho it would suck.using someone = fuck that. it's heartlesssuicide = depressing. i've had way too many friends go that route. too sad...killing people = wrongteenage smoking = bad bad bad decisiondoing drugs = not worth all the downsides premarital sex = can't argue with that one.. ;)driving drunk = ignorantgay/lesbian relationships = nothing wrong with thatsoap operas = haha lame. tho i was once addicted to days of our lives and sunset beach..food = i <3 food! mexican, asian, thai, peanut butter, garlic, salad, bleu cheese, mac and cheese, pastas... mmmmmmmmmmmmsong = favorite? too many to consider. thing to talk about = matt. tehehehe...i like talking about music too, anything really. tho not politics or religion, sorry.sports = i like to watch skateboarding and bmx bikingdrinks = miller high lifeclothes = low rise boot cut jeans, t-shirts (ususally band shirts or ones from thrift stores)movies = are fun to watchcars = take you places you need to gohave you ever...cried over a guy/girl? = oh yeslied to someone? = well yeah. been arrested? = no (knock on wood)what....shampoo do you use? = kroger herbal , rainwater tea tree oilshoes do you wear? = vanshow many...times i have been in love? = um, several i guess. but this one now is the big one!!times i have had my heart broken? = my breakups have always been pretty much mutual in the past.hearts i have broken? = can't answer that boys i have kissed? = dumb questiongirls i have kissed? = haha pretty much all my friends at some point or another...continents i have lived in? = 1drugs taken illegally? = i was young and dumb once or twice...heh.people i could classify as true, could trust with my life friends? = 5 or sopeople i consider my enemies? = i hope i don't have anypeople in high school that i stayed in contact with? = ummm a fewtimes my name has appeared in the newspaper? = severalscars on my body? = i've got a fewthings in my past that i regret? = regrets, well i've had a few. but then again too few to mention....ha ha ha ha (lame)

all that i can give...

last cigarette: 1 year, 8 months, 3 days-and counting!last car ride: with my sister and dad (went to asian wind for dinner last nite)last kiss: mmmmmmm, friday morning when i woke matt up for a kiss before worklast good cry: hmm, it's been a while...last library book checked out: that's been a while too...last movie seen: Identitylast book read: in the process of reading angelas ashes by frank mccourtlast cuss word uttered: i'm gonna go with fuck (it's my favorite)last beverage drank: water/miller high lifelast food consumed: grilled cheese sammich and spinach salad w/bleu cheese dressinglast crush: my crush turned mad love for matt simpsonlast phone call: matty simpslast tv show watched: a pre-recorded friends episode i guesslast time showered: yesterday (and again in about 15 min)last cd played: rose tattoolast downloaded: none yet *cough*last annoyance: worklast disappointment: that my supersuckers record has not arrived yetlast soda drank: i took a sip of my sisters cherry coke yesterday-double yuck!last thing written: hand written? a to do listlast key used: haha backspacelast words spoken: hey baby girl ?? (i was talking to my cat sophie)last sleep: 10 hours ago-and not enough of it.last IM: matt and carmen right nowlast weird encounter: "taz" at the joan jett show friday nitelast ice cream eaten: heath bar blizzardlast time amused: on the phone with mattylast time wanting to die: i don't think like thatlast time in love: currentlylast time hugged: my dad yesterdaylast time scolded: hahalast time resentful: ?last chair sat in: my computer chair right nowlast lipstick used: i wear chapsticklast shirt worn: the one i wore to work today-confuselast time dancing: ?last show attended: the murders, with regard, and the brassknuckle boys saturday nite

it's the little things

where did we meet:how long have you known me:how well do you know me:when you 1st saw me what did you think:my hair & eye colour:have you ever had a crush on me:have I ever had a crush on you:what's one of my favourite things to do:what's my favourite food?one of the first things I said to you:what's my favourite type of music:what's my best physical feature:am I shy or outgoing:would you say I'm funny:am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:any special talents I have:would you consider me a friend:have you ever seen me cry:a good nickname for me would be:am I in love, and with who:have you ever met any of my family:say anything to me here:

workin' 9-5 NOT a way to make a living...hah!

work work work. i'm so sick of it. i'm sick of doing it everyfuckingday and never feeling like i'm getting ahead-or anywhere for that matter! grrrrrrrrrr...

abcd, paranoia's killing me...

a - act your age? eh, yes and no. i take care of myself, but i'm not ready to be a "grown up"b - born on what day of the week? hmmm, maybe i'll have to ask the folksc - chore you hate? keeping up with everything!d - dad's name? robert (bob)e - essential makeup item? burts beeswax (chapstick)f - favorite actor? jason lee, gary oldman, john cusackg - gold or silver? silver.h - hometown? lexvegasi - instruments you play? zero (tho' i still remember some piano and clarinet)j - job title? sandwich artist! hah. cook/kitchen manager?k - kids? two cats: tyrone and sophiel - living arrangements? me and my cats. and matt a lot too! heh.m - mom's name? carolyn (corny)n - number of people you've slept with? baho - overnight hospital stays? not that i can recallp - phobia? arachnophobia! hah. plus i'd say i've got a bit of the obsessive/complusive/analretentive disorder! heh. but wait, those aren't phobias...q - quote you like? " always keep a song in your heart and one on the record player."r - religious affiliation? pbbbbt... s - siblings? 1 sisser, alisat - time you wake up? 7:10 amu - unique habit? how do you catch a unique rabbit? u nique up on it! hahahhav - vegetable you refuse to eat? corn. w- worst habit? hah prolly not being able to leave this damn thing! ugh.x - x-rays you've had? my mouth as far as i can remembery - yummy food you make? boca chix patties topped with mushrooms and garlic sauteed in teriyaki glaze with melted cheese on bread with mayo. and a salad. z - zodiac sign? pisces

no questions asked

hmmm, listening to the very best of fleetwood mac while i dye my hair. i am almost willing to bet that this is the biggest dye mess i've made in all my years. on my body-not the bathroom. ugh. it's rough having long hair sometimes. hah. time to rinse, then eat...

a haircut, how 'bout a haircut?

1. First band you ever saw: bon jovi/cinderella2. Next band you're going to see: joan jett/john prine (keeping my fingers crossed)3. What band(s) did you see last: subhumans {Personal Questions} 1. How old are you? 272. When is your birthday? 3-20-763. What is your full name? rachel barbera{Current Questions} 1. How are you feeling? tired and lazy and productive at the same time..?2. What are you wearing? panties..hehe3. What are you drinking? nothing4. What are you eating? nothing{Random Questions}1. Do you like the number 4? uh, ok.2. Who do you love? matt simpson for one3. Who do you hate? hate is such a harsh word. dislike...now we're talkin' hah.4. Who are you lusting after? matt simpson[nicknames, including from family]rachie, roachie, roach, roachbreath, roachilla da killa, ray-ray...[Chinese zodiac sign?] don't remember[location] lexvegas, ky.[sexual preference] matt simpson [current hair color/length] long (to my bra line) and black with ugly brown highlights. (but not for long, i'm dying it this week damnit!)[eye color] brown [height] 5'8"[shoe size] 7-71/2[Parents still together] most definitely[siblings] one sisser, alisa[nieces/nephews] nopers[kids of your own] i have two cats[grandkids] ah, no[pets] tyrone and sophie[in school/graduated] some college[what do you do for work] i'm a sandwich artist! heh.[how much do you make]yeah, not enough[have any credit cards] nopers[what do you drive] schwinn sidewinderFavorites[color] black/green/pink[number]13, and anything ending in 8 (ex. 48, 38...haha)[animal] cat[vehicle] them old kind. hah.[flower] sunflower[scent] amber[shape] star[drinks] water, hot herbal teas, miller highlife[soda]see above[band(s)]kid dynamite, dillinger four, pinhead gunpowder to name a few[song(s)] shit there's too many[color your hair]most def.[twirl your hair] yeah[have tattoos] 5 and counting[piercing] 0 ga ears (soon enough), lip[have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both] yes. i. do.[drink/smoke]drink[like roller coasters] love rollercoasters[wish you could live somewhere else] yes[want more piercing] my septum and nipples. but i think i'm done with the whole piercing thing..[write in cursive or print] print, but i think it's more of a combination. i like typing the best.[carry a donor card] no[swear a lot] fuckin' a[own a web cam] nope[know how to drive] hah...nah..oops[diet] no[hablar espanol] asi asiHave you ever...[gotten a speeding ticket] no[dui] no[been in a wreck] yes[been arrested] no (knock on wood yo)[been in a fist fight] not exactally[kicked someone in the nuts] on accident[stolen a car] no[stolen anything] nothing worth mentioning[held a gun] a real one? no way[smoked] yes[pot] yes[crack] no[drink] yes[been so drunk you couldn't remember your name] ?[cried over a girl] sure [cried over a boy]yes[lied to someone] yes[had sex outdoors] nopers[fallen for your best friend?] no[made out with JUST a friend] yes[been rejected] nah[been in lust] sure[used someone] no way[been used] prolly[been cheated on] yes[been kissed] yes[experimented with homosexuality] i've kissed many of my female friends in my day...aaaand since i am feeing productive, i'm gonna take this opportunity to walk up the street and get my hairs cut yo.

waiting for the laundry to finish...

LAYER ONE-- Name: rachel barbera-- Birthdate: 3.20.76-- Birthplace: lexvegas. central baptist hospital-- Current Location: lextown baby-- Eye Color: brown-- Hair Color: black/ugly brown highlights -- Height: 5'8-- Righty or Lefty: right-- Zodiac Sign: pisces..LAYER TWO-- Your heritage: italian, irish, and german-- The shoes you wore today: rowleys today. now slippers-- Your weakness: matt simpson!-- Your fears: spiders, all the crazy shit going on in the world today-- Your perfect pizza: cheese and mushrooms and garlic-- Goal you'd like to achieve: find what i want (and will thoroughly enjoy) doing with my lifeLAYER THREE-- Your most overused phrase: fuckin'a, yo, -- Your thoughts first waking up: weekdays-fuck, how many more days till the weekend. weekends-ahhhhhhhh what to do with matty today-- Your best physical feature: hmmmmmmmmm, i dunno-- Your bedtime: week-10-11. weekend-whenthefuckever-- Your most missed memory: it's just sad that i won't be able to make anymore memories with my friends that unfortunately have passed on...LAYER FOUR-- Pepsi or Coke: water-- McDonald's or Burger King: taco bell-- Single or Relationship: relationship! -- Adidas or Nike: vans -- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: herbal teas. usually celestial seasonings-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate-- Cappuccino or coffee: i love coffee, but i don't do the caffine thing anymore...LAYER FIVE-- smoke: nopers-- Cuss: fuckin'a.-- Sing: terribly, but yes.-- Take a shower everyday: yes i love showers-- Have a crush(es): on matt simpson-- Want to go to college: i would like to finish one day-- Like high school: i don't think one way or the other i guess-- Want to get married: someday....-- Believe in yourself: i guess-- Get motion sickness: sometimes-- Think you're attractive: depends on which side of the bed i wake up on...-- Think you're a health freak: yes, but no at the same time! hah-- Get along with your parents: yes-- Like thunderstorms: if i'm cuddled up with matt and can feel safe in his armsLAYER SIX: In the past month...-- Done a drug: no-- Had Sex: yes-- Made Out: yes-- Gone on a date: yeah-- Gone to the mall?: i actually think so-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no-- Eaten sushi: hells no-- Been on stage: no-- Gone skating: i put on a pair of rollerskates the other day...-- Made homemade cookies: no-- Gone skinny dipping: no-- Dyed your hair: no, but i'm doing it soon-- Stolen anything: noLAYER SEVEN: Ever..-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: hahah, yes-- If so, was it mixed company: me and matt goofing around-- Been caught "doing something": maybe...-- Been called a tease: matt calls me a tease-- Gotten beaten up: no, but i have had a black eye-- Shoplifted: no-- Changed who you were to fit: nahLAYER EIGHT-- Age you hope to be married: there's no set age- Numbers and Names of Children: ?? -- Describe your dream wedding: with matt.-- How do you want to die: i dont want to die..or think about it-- Where you want to go to college: lcc haha-- What do you want to be when you grow up: i don't wanna grow up..(if. growning up. means being. like you. then i don't want to........be like you..)-- What country would you most like to visit: franceLAYER NINE: In a boy-- Best eye color? doesn't matter, but i do like dark eyes-- Best hair color? depends on the person-- Short or long hair: depends on the person-- Height: i like 'em a bit taller than me-- Best weight: depends on the person-- Best articles of clothing: depends on the person. matt is always lookin good. i like his small tshirts-- Best first date location: a show-- Best first kiss location: wherever the moment is rightLAYER TEN-- Number of people I could trust with my life: there's a few-- Number of CDs that I own: cds-over 100, vinyl-over 600, tapes-over 100-- Number of piercing: lip and 0ga. ears (well, almost)-- Number of tattoos: 5 and counting-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: several i guess-- Number of scars on my body: several, nothing too crazy tho