so let the sun shine in...

i love waking up on my own in the early morning hours. not to an annoying alarm clock telling me to get ready for work. i first woke up at 7 a.m., probably my inner alarm clock, but forced myself to sleep a bit longer. so then when i awoke again at 9 a.m. i got up. i felt productive. so i opened the blinds and all the windows to let the fresh morning air in, made my postum/silk drink, did the dishes, made salad, cut up a honeydew, made a hole in the bucket or whateverinthehellitscalled-cut the middle out of a piece of bread and fry an egg into it. it's yummy i think, and simple. i'm waiting for matt to get up so we can make a real breakfast. i don't want to wake him myself as he looks so peaceful sleeping, finally. now here i am on the computer-no suprise. so really i haven't been too productive, but i felt like i was so that's all that matters. heh. i wanna clean the house, but my buddy trish has borrowed my vaccuum cleaner...we were suppose to go to whitesburg today to see the murders, with regard, and deep 13 play. but at the last minute-due to a band mate's work schedule (grrrr, right neely? hehe)-the murders had to cancel. that's who we were gonna ride up with. plus, matt and i are both trying to save money and so far we have not been doing the best of a job at it. it's good that we're not going now really because of gas money, eating out twice prolly, paying for the show, etc...i'd still like to see and support with regard and deep 13, but ah well. i think they understand. hah. now we have an open day...what to do what to do...it is my friend roberts birthday today, so we may see what he and sarah and those guys are up to. who knows...i hope that xpmdx and sanktus felt last nite was worth it. it sucks that none of the other bands showed up. i wonder what the deal was. but enough people ended up showing up (not many really, but no worse than some other shows i've seen) and both bands fucking rocked out. i have to admit i felt kinda weird going to a show at someones parents (reeeeeeeally nice) house. i do though, think it's bad ass of robin's parents to allow it! i hope xpmdx got an ok amount of money from the donations to help finish the last leg of their tour. i gave a few bux towards those losers! hah. i had fun shooting pool too-it's been quite a while since i've played. and boy did it show. but i did beat matt a few times...and he beat me as well. afterwards we rented basketball diaries since matt had never seen it, and just finished reading my book. i basically fell right asleep, imagine that. i think he liked it ok.well it just may be time to wake ole pimps...here's to a good day!

i love you matt simpson

soon ends our stay here and it's been fun. so tonight i'll raise my glass to us. cause we've talked so much i think we filled this ashtray twice, and i'm pretty sure we emptied every bottle in the place... so let's walk home, let's be afraid. i wanna grab you by the arms and kiss you so hard. let's do it right, under the streetlight. i want it now, somehow i forgot how. way to go, way to go. forgot you've got so far to go. way to go, way to go. forgot you've got so far to go. i heard everybody's voice cut out when you spoke. and i watched all the lights go dim when your eyes opened. well i can't believe you showed up, what do i do now? it's last call, time to go. but before we say goodnight... let's walk home, let's be afraid. i wanna grab you by the arms and kiss you so hard. let's do it right under the streetlight. i want it now, somehow i forgot how. way to go, way to go. forgot you've got so far to go. way to go, way to go. forgot you've got so far to go. forgot you've got so far, you've got so far to go. forgot you've got so far, you've got so far to go. forgot you've got so far, you've got so far to go. forgot you've got so far, you've got so far to go.

call the slambulance, i'm going to the moshpital

I walked around alone last nightand tried to look at people like I did back thenI kinda wanted to just hang outremind myself what it was all aboutabout everything I thoughtI shattered and left laying therethat didn't matterevery now and then comes back to my eyesmoving in a new directionI know if you're not getting betteryou're getting worse butwatching everybody else it's getting harder to remind myselfof what I've learned relying on another lame religionto validate our arrogant traditionsand any day we're gonna wonder whywe've been left behindthis girl came up to me and saidI think my teacher used to go to school with youand she was right and if for just a second I take off these colored glassesI can see it might just be a waste of timeand I don't know everyday that passesit gets easier to walk off and it seems alrightand everyday another person I used to call my friendjust dissapears from sightnow I see that I'm all alonejust like I always was from the beginningand I think maybe that's the reason I'm not hanging aroundI see your face and wonder where you'll be five years from nowand what it really means to you insideI can't explain the reasons why I can't hang out and bide my timeit just keeps going on and on and on and on and on and I don't know

knock me down flat, and send me back

what a way to start off the work week with a super long day. it wasn't that bad of a day, just long. people kept coming and ordering food while i was trying to get my prep work done and close the fucker down. of course that's why we're there, to feed the people. but i can't help but get frusterated when it's near closing time and i still have a million things left to do. oh well. i got to listen to some killer music and that helped. plus stephen and my old pal richel both stopped by.asherah being one of the bands. they played saturday at arts place along with xpmdx, and bullets fall, and kid gorgeous. the show was fabulous in all. each band playing a great set in my opinion. my first time hearing/seeing asherah and i totally dig 'em! i enjoyed kid gorgeous much better this time around too. i don't know what it was the first time, but they didn't affect me at all. after seeing them this time around i realized that i barely heard the vocals last time, just saw the singer in his stance. this time though, hearing them better-i liked them more. so maybe that was a big part of it. too bad i spent all my money before they played on asherah shit! which kept me from getting xpmdx's new demo too. haha. there's always next time. or burning a cd. but with my dial-up, that's basically outta the question.what in the hell have i done that's so wrong or bad to give me this laundry trouble karma!? i have been having problems with both the washer and dryer on and off since i moved in to this building nearly a year ago! first there's almost a fire in which i have to call the fire department and everyfucking firetruck/fighter/cop in the city show up-half my clothes from that cycle melted kinda and have permanent burn marks. we finally get a new dryer after months of calling the landlords and bitching to them over and over. the new dryer fucking sucks from the beginning. it doesn't dry worth a shit. but i complain less than the rest of the tenants, cause a slow dryer is better than no dryer. right? so then the on knob on this new dryer breaks. we are able to turn it on by using pliers or somethingofthelike still. we do this till they finally "fix" it. the new knob they put on was never secure. it was fucked up from the start. so today i put my laundry in the dryer and turn the knob to on and the knob falls off and the other piece falls down in the hole. so there's nothing there. i can't dry my damn clothes. and i swear this always happens when I'M the one doing the laundry. so I have to call the landlords. and believe you me, they are sick of hearing from me. i've called tenant services on their ass already and gotten them in trouble. at least i have clean clothes right? i can always hang dry my shit. that's when the washer will start fucking up again and stopping in mid cycle, full of water. heh. slumlords. can't live under their roofs, can't get away from living under their roofs. grr.well off to clean the filth from my body. and go feed trish's cats. and eat my macaroni grill leftovers. and miss matt.

here comes the rain again...

i feel really out of place being at home in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday. we had a major electrical malfunction at the melodeon yesterday 15 minutes into being open for lunch! half the restaurant's power went out, and it wasn't a minor fuse that blew where you go flick the switch and it's back on. we ran lunch with just cold sandwiches and salads and soups (since the soup wells were still running). and had to shut down after lunch. it's a huge job and it has to be done now (since it's aparantly been put off for many years-the owner of the building knew about it and refuses to put forth the money to have it fixed, plus they say my boss was told about it 4 1/2 years ago...) they thought it would've been taken care of by yesterday evening, but it must be a bigger job than they expected, cause the chief inspector guy came out and permitted us to have temporary electricity (to keep our coolers running so all the food wouldn't expire), but that we could not in any way open to the public till it was completely taken care of. so that's why i'm here now. i called earlier to see if there's anything i could do and to when we were going to open again and they still didn't know for sure. the electricians are working on it all day today. then i guess the inspector has to come back out and approve for us to open for tomorrow? maybe...though i'm loving the time off work-since i'm going through the burnt out faze at work again-i know i need the fucking money! ugh. guess i should take advantage of this time and clean my damn apartment. i've been putting it off for weeks now. matt's at band practice, so i have no excuse! hahwe rented just married (don't laugh!) and adaptation last nite. we started adaptation but both fell asleep, so i watched the rest of it thismorning-matt slept again, he wasn't interested-it was quite the bizarre movie. i don't know what to make of it. what i think of it. it made me cry which says something... well it's 3 o'clock in the afternoon and looks like midnite so i'm getting off the computer-a storm's a comin'.

i love you so much it's killing us both

i have the best.most.loving.considerate.thoughtful.boyfriend.ever.ever.! last tuesday, july 2nd-the day before our 4 month anniversary tehehe-, i came home from work to a long letter with a rose and picture of us taken at a friends wedding a few weeks back. the letter was full of nothing but detailed love and admiration for the relationship we have together. then over the next few days i found a total of 7 notes with sweet little comments to me on them hidden throughout my apartment. like on the refridgerator, in the refridgerator, in a shoe, in my cd rom spindle, in my harry potter book, under my pillow, and in my underware drawer! i think that was the most romantic thoughtful thing anyone's ever done! i love you matt simpson. you have my heart.

hard headed woman

:::10 Bands You've Seen Live::: (first off the top of my head...)1. social distortion2. zeke3. speedealer4. jets to brazil5. subhumans6. beastie boys7. supersuckers8. motorhead9. propagandhi10. aus-rotten:::09 Things You're Looking Forward To::: 1. spending lots of quality time with matt2. going to cedar point with matt and our buds!3. going to see blue car at the ky today4. cleaning my apartment when i get the motivation5. going to krazy fest (dillinger four yo!!!)6. taking a shower (i'm stinky!)7. getting my tattoos worked on/fixed8. finishing this freaking ear stretching process9. spending even more quality time with matt <3(that is if he is game as well...):::08 Things You Wear Daily::: 1. rowley vans2. t-shirt3. wallet4. burts beeswax5. bra6. underwear7. jeans8. watch:::07 Things That Annoy You::: 1. my loud ass neighbors2. smoking3. people coming over "needing to use the bathroom" 4. lack of motivation (my own)5. it's sunny for one minute, then the next it looks like rain. make up your damn mind6. being poor7. my aching back:::06 Things You Touch Every Day::: 1. myself2. tyrone3. sophie4. the toilet 5. my bed6. matt (god i wish):::05 Things You Do Every Day::: 1. talk to matty2. internet3. play with tyrone and sophie4. eat5. sleep:::04 People You'd Want to Spend More Time With::: 1. matt2. crystal3. alisa4. nikkii:::03 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over::: 1. reality bites2. high fidelity3. ten things i hate about you!:::02 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment::: 1. bikeage-the descendents2. wild world-cat stevens:::01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With::: 1. tyrone and sophie most def.( i wanna say matty. and i do think that right now. i hope things work out that way for us. he is one amazing person that i cherish dearly and can see a future with. i hope the feeling is mutual too)

here's to putting off cleaning house..

RachelAs Rachel you are rather serious-minded, responsible, and stable. You have the gift of tact and diplomacy, and possess a charming, easy-going nature which endears you to others. You have a serious desire to understand the heart and mind of everyone, and could be very effective in a career or in volunteer work where you are handling people and serving in a humanitarian way. This name also gives you a love of home and family, and as a parent you would likely be fair and understanding. You remember the thoughtful little expressions of affection and appreciation that mean so much to others, and you have the ability to create a warm and loving environment. However, you tend to put things off and avoid facing issues because of a lack of confidence and uncertainty. You often need encouragement from someone before you can come to a decision. This name creates a generally well-balanced and healthy nature, but any weakness in the health would cause problems in the fluid functions, such as kidney or bladder trouble, overweight, or swelling of the legs and ankles. www.pressanykey.com

what's my tree type?

yeah, so i went to that site holly...guess it pretty much makes sense...Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way hates fighting stress and labor tends to laziness and idleness soft and relenting makes sacrifices for friends many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom often wailing and complaining very jealous loyal.

spirit of '76

tyrone sleeps in a box

nice tattoos

"...i was just a stupid kid back then. i take back every word that i said..."

procrastination's my middle name

What is your ideal vacation?unlimited road trip with matt simpsonWhere were you on 9/11?on my way to work. a few minutes after getting to work, the second tower was hit. devastating.How many first cousins do you have?nineHow do you take your pizza?thin crust, mushrooms and fresh garlic. with ranch for dipping.If you could be fluent in any foreign language (that you are not already) what would it be? spanishWhat is your favorite website?but eugene records of course!What previous era would you like to live in?the 20's or 30's maybe? or the 50's What is your favorite genre of movies?drama. but i love all kindsIf you could have any one superpower, what would it be?to fly. or be invisible. yeah.Can you whistle? yesIf you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?a cat. so i can see what my cats do all day while i'm slaving my life away. or a monkey maybe. or a fish...Who is your favorite fictional character? harry fucking potter!!Star Wars or Star Trek?thumb warsWhat is your favorite beverage?water with lemonWhat brand of toothpaste do you use?crest usually. tho i wish i could afford toms on main or another organic kind.What is your favorite professional sports team?not a sports fan here.Are you "indoorsy" or "outdoorsy"?bothIf you could play any musical instrument, what would it be?drums What's your favorite accent?matt simpson'sWhen you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?a veterinarian. or a veterinary technician. which i'd still like to do to this day...Are you a dog person or a cat person?catIf they were making a movie or TV show of your life, who would you choose to play you?wynonna ryder or angelina jolie i guess...What is your favorite element (earth, fire, water or air)?waterIf you could compete in any event in the Olympics (summer or winter) what would it be?if it were the beer olympics....hehe just kidding...What is your favorite Sunday comic strip?for better or worseWhat kind of music do you listen to?i listen to allllllll kinds really, but "punk"(of all sorts) would be the biggest part...What is your favorite breakfast cereal? cherrios with fresh fruit and silkWhat is your worst habit?i burp a lot. i don't mean to though. matt hates it. and i'm getting it under control!

letting matt peacefully nap...

Spell your first name backwards - lehcarThe story behind your lj user name -my nickmame is roach(ie), and everyfuckingform of roach is always taken when i go to register my name. so i used a zero for the o, and my birth year at the end. original 'eh? hah.Where do you live - lexvegas4 words that sum you up - in love, happy, tired.DESCRIBE YOURWallet - er, blue and black cotton chain dc chain walletHairbrush - i use a comb. and it's a broken one from a clippers set.Toothbrush - red and fabulous (from the co-op)Pillow cover - crazy striped (2) and solid green jersey ones (2)Blanket - sheets match the striped pillows and a ugly as hell leopard print comfortorCoffee cup - when i drink tea i usually use my "dogs drool, cats rule" mug or my marie laveau's house of voodoo mug from my last new orleans trip.Sunglasses - can't find any that i like really. i have a pair that have a safety pin holding them together. punk as fuck huh...Underwear - none at the momentShoes-none right nowFavorite top - i wear tshirts...uh, my favorite would be my new most precious blood shirt at the moment i guessCologne/Perfume - i wear oils. like amber, egyptian musk, frankenscense, vanilla...CD in stereo right now - tuscaderoTattoos - 5 and countingPiercings - stretched ears (00 and 2 i think), and lipWhat you are wearing now - a white tank dress with stars (it's my get outta shower attire) Hair - long and black and in need of a new dye jobMakeup - just burts bees lip balm for me thanxIn my mouth - teeth and tongueIn my head -singing along with tuscaderoWishing -i had tomorrow off so matt and i could just goof off all niteAfter this -cook dinner, go to kroger and get alkaline trio tix???Fetishes - matt simpsonThe last thing you ate - spinach salad with bleu cheese, and an avacado, tomato, and veganaise sandwich! yummy!Something that you are deathly afraid of - being unhappy in lifeDo you like candles - sureDo you like the taste of blood - no preferenceDo you believe in love - YES!Do you believe in soul mates - yeahDo you believe in Heaven - um, kindaDo you believe in forgiveness - yesWhat do you want done with your body when you die - something i haven't really thought about. maybe cremation, but i dunnoWho is your worst enemy - enemies are for losersCan you eat with chopsticks - not exactally

i'm in the room without a light, the room without a view...

first bike: sky blue bike with a white basket with flowers on it (schwinn maybe?)first best friend(s): madeline and jessicafirst real memory of something: these two dreams i had when i was 3 (one was reoccuring). my memory is that they were real, but my mom tells me they were dreams.first car: schwinn sidewinderfirst date: ?first kiss: donnie (in like first grade)first break-up: josh i guess. we dated for like maybe a month when i was in 8th gradefirst job: baskin robbinsfirst screen name: r0achie76first pet: tiger (cat)first piercing/tattoo: i got my ears pierced when i was 4. i got my first tattoo for my 19th birthday.first love: jimmy (high school boyfriend)first enemy: i don't like to think that i have enemies.first big trip: 7th grade school trip to chicago. other than that many family trips to st. louis and new york and such.first play/musical/performance: i played clarinet and piano in elementary and junior high school and we'd have recitals and stufffirst sport you played: soccerfirst musician you remember hearing in your house: the beatleslast cigarette: one year, 9 months ago (tomorrow)! woot!last kiss: 5 seconds agolast good cry: while watching what dreams may come with matt. saddest.movie.ever.!last library book checked out: damn i don't rememberlast movie seen: baseketball (earlier today)last cuss word uttered: fucklast beverage drank: waterlast food consumed: country benedict and hashbrown casserole from miaslast crush: matt simpson. i still get that "crush" feeling even though we're all in love now...<3last phone call: neelylast tv show watched: friendslast time showered: thismorninglast shoes worn: vanslast cd played: darkest hourlast item bought: bergamont corriander spray from bath and body workslast downloaded: bikeage-the descendentslast annoyance: matty having to leave. (i don't want him to!)last disappointment: matty having to leave. (i don't want him to!) heh.last soda drank: i don't drink sodalast thing written: somebodies digitslast key used: house keylast word spoken: i love you matt.last sleep: an attempted nap a few minutes agolast im: mark borderslast sexual fantasy: matt.last weird encounter: some wasted redneck lady at the cookout yesterday. haha.last ice cream eaten: soy delicious-chocolate almond brownielast time amused: today at brunch retelling a funny story.last time wanting to die: never.last time in love: now and foreverlast time hugged: 5 seconds ago when matt leftlast time scolded: hah.last time resentful: not recentlylast chair sat in: my computer chairlast lipstick used: i use chapstick-burts beeslast underwear worn: pink leopard printlast bra worn: the only one i wearlast shirt worn: the b-movie ratslast time dancing: ?last poster looked at: the clash-bankrobberlast show attended: dawn bleeds east on tuesday (and earlier that evening-undying, kid gorgeous, the judas cradle, scream for silence, xpmdx, and olympus mons)last webpage visited: before this livejournal, eugene records

waitin' for matty....

[ Name ] - rachel[ Nicknames, including from family ] - rachie, roachie, roach, roachbreath, roachilla da killa, ray-ray[ Birthday ] - march 20 1976[ Astrological sign? ] - pisces[ Chinese zodiac sign? ] - can't remember[ Location ] - lextown yo[ Sexual Preference ] - matt simpson[ Marital Status ] - single, yet madly in love[ Current Haircolor ] - black[ Eyecolor... W/ & W/O contacts ] - brown.[ Parents still together? ] -yes![ Syblings? ]-younger sister[ Pets? ] - tyrone and sophie (the two.best.cats.ever.)[ In school/graduated? ] - contemplating reentering college...[ Rent, lease, or own your home? ] - rent[ What do you do for work? ] - cook at the melodeon[ How much do you make? ] - not nearly enough[ What do you drive? ] - schwinn sidewinderPreferences[ Dogs/Cats ] - cats[ Roses/Daisies ] - both[ Beer/Liquor ] - beer[ Hair: Short/Long ] - long[ Boots/Shoes ] - i tend to wear vans...[ Food: Mexican/Italian ] - both equally scrumdiddlyumptious.[ Dark/Light ] - light (if you mean daytime)[ Day/Night ] - day[ City/Country ] - i'm a city girl, who likes to visit the country..[ Sheets: Solid/Animal Prints ] - i have funky colored sheetsFavorites[ Color ] - black, green, pink[ Animal ] - cat. but i <3 'em all![ Vehicle ] - most cars from the '50s[ Flower ] - sunflower[ Beer ] i stick with miller high life, and lately michelob ultra[ Liquor ] - don't usually drink it, but i love baileys irish cream[ Soda ] - soda is bad m'kay. water![ Food ] - garlic. peanutbutter. macaroni and cheese. [ Book ] - used to be catcher in the rye, but now i dunno...[ Author ] - aaron cometbus? [ Band ] - kid dynamite, dillinger four, the clash, the descendents, supersuckers, etc...[ CD ] - (vinyl) at this moment i'm listening to dillinger four/situationist comedy[ Song ] - right now- dillinger four/folk song[ Movie ] - high fidelity[ Director ] - cameron crow? kevin smith?[ Extracurricular Activity ] - spending time with matty, internet, seeing shows,listening to music, movies, riding my bike[ Color your hair? ] - yes[ Have tattoos? ] - not enough[ Piercings? ] - yes. ears stretched, lip ringHave you...[ Stolen anything? ] - nope[ Smoke? ] - not in 1 year and 9 months! go me![ Pot? ] - not in a long time[ Crack? ] - no[ Drink? ] -yes[ Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name? ]nah[ Been so drunk you didn't care that you couldn't remember your name? ] haha prolly[ Posed for nude pics? ] - haha no[ Considered a life of crime? ] - no.[ Considered being a hooker? ] - no[ Maybe a pimp? ] - what kind of questions are these?[ Cheated on someone? ] - Not technically[ Been married? ] - i'd like to someday...Are you psycho?[ Split personalities? ] - sometimes[ Schizophrenic? ] - we dont think so[ Obsessive? ] - i can be[ Obsessive Compulsive? ] - you could call it that[ Panic? ] - i feel it sometimes[ Anxiety? ] - feel that too[ Depressed? ] - who isn't at times?[ Suicidal? ] - no.[ Homicidal? ] - no [ Genocidal? ] - no [ Pedophile?] - fuck no[ Obsessed with hate? ] - no[ Mutilate animals? ] - god no [ Idolize infamous criminals? ] - nah[ Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? ] - nightmares? yes.[ Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? ] - i don't think soThe good stuff...[ Had sex outdoors? ] - i'd like to try someday maybe...[ What are you listening to? ] - dillinger four[ What are you watching? ] - this computer screen[ What time is it? ] - 6:12[ What are you wearing? ] - these surveys always get me at my best.. i just got outta the shower...a robe and slippers

my new favorite sandwich

yum! natural touch (from morning star) "tuno" is some good shit! i'd always shyed away from buying it before-i'd heard it was gross. WRRRRONG! i mixed it with diced celery and green onions, dill relish, and vegenaise. toasted some honey wheat berry bread and added romaine lettuce and fresh tomato. i know it's simple, but it's the shizzy. hah.

raise your fist to the sky

1. Who was the last person you yelled at? slim. he snuck up behind me at my work and scared the shit outta me. hah.2. Who was the last person you kissed? matt!3. What was the last memorable book you read? i'm trying to read angela's ashes..4. When did you last dance? goofing off with matt the other day5. What's the last thing you want to yesterday? ???7. When did you last do your ironing? have i ever done any ironing?8. When was the last time you smiled all day? prolly the day i realized matt actually had feelings for me (and every day since)9. What color of socks do you normally wear? i wear decorative socks usually(dr.seuss,stripes, skulls, stars...), or white.10. Did you ever attend a private school? no11. Do you like stuffed animals? i have a few-that i don't want.12. Have you ever smashed pumpkins? no actually13. Can you quote Shakespeare? romeo romeo, where for art thou romeo...i don't like shakespheare really...14. Are you a neat freak? yes and no15. What is the worst injury you have ever given someone? i bit someone in a fight! hah. 16. Do you ever eat lemons plain? i have17. Have you ever fired a gun? not a real one18. Do you own any knee-high boots? heh yes. strangely enough19. Do you have a crush on somebody? my feelings for matt are much more than a silly crush20. Do you like swimming in lakes? depends on the lake21. Have you ever streaked at a football game or any other public event? wha? no.22. What is your favorite gemstone? are turquoise and black onyx gemstones?23. Have you gone on many blind dates? none24. Has someone done something extra nice for you? more times than i prolly deserve25. Did you have a crush on any of your teachers? nopers26. Have you ever been lost in a bad part of a city? sure. i live in the "ghetto of campus"!heh27. Would you rather have a mint or fruit flavored gum? mint28. Do you ever eat food right out of cans or jars? i have29. Has your mind ever gone blank? yeah30. Have you ever met anyone interesting at the laundry mat? noone comes to mind31. Are you kind? i'd like to think so32. Do you consider love a mistake? love is love. how can it be a mistake if it's something real that you feel?33. Do you have any beanie babies? two actually. don't know if they're official or not. adems brother got me a leopard print one years back34. Would you rather be hot or cold? cold35. Is the glass half full, or empty? now that all depends on what's in the glass...36. Do you exercise or work out regularly? oh i try. i do walk/ride my bike to and from work every day at the least.37. Could you kill if your life was threatened? hopefully i'll never be put in that situation

god i wish matt was here...

four tv shows you liked when you were a little kid1. sesame street2. mr. rogers3. 321 contact4. the greatest american hero[four places to go in your area] 1. busters2. cd central3. pops4. arts place[four things to do when you're bored]1. internet2. internet3. internet4. internet[four things that never fail to cheer you up]1. matt2. vinyl3. my cats4. matt[four things you can't live without]1. matt simpson2. water3. friends4. cats[three things about today...]1. it sucks (well, matt's not here...)2. laundry day3. i need to clean (but it's a lazy day so i prolly won't...)[seven things you love]1. matt simpson2. computers3. tyrone4. sophie5. vinyl6. shows7. matt simpson[seven things you dislike] 1. corn2. getting up for work every morning3. the pain in my hip4. rain5. matt not being with me6. led zeppelin7. not being in close touch with crystal[seven things on your desk]1. plant2. water3. watch4. vitamins5. fliers6. phone7. picture of me and matt[seven facts about you]1. i am in love with matt simpson (duh...heh)2. i love my cats (best.cats.ever.)3. i have no freaking talent4. i i have tattoos5. i love collecting vinyl6. i've never had stitches (knock on wood)7. i love stars[7 artists/bands/people should give a listen to]1. the clash2. kid dynamite3. dillinger four4. green day5. the descendents6. billie holliday7. today i wait[3 sweEt things said to you]1. i love you (from matt)2. everything matt says to me3. god i don't know...uh, that my hair is pretty hah..

what's more to know?...

height = 5'8shoe size = 7-71/2hair color = blackhair length = longpets = tyrone and sophie (the two.best.cats.ever.)last movie you rented = igby goes down (and we had it for days and never watched it)last movie you bought = my big fat greek weddinglast song you listened to = i'm listening to darkest hour now-dunno the name of the songs..last song that was stuck in your head = haha.. that new naz (or whatever) song with the little kids singing. thankfully i can't think of how it goes now!last song you've downloaded = i've yet to explore the wonderful world of downloading music...last cd you bought = o brother, where art thou soundtrack on vinyllast cd you listened to = currently darkest hourlast person you called = mattylast Person that called you = matty!last TV show you watched = ? wait, did i do this already??you have a b/f or a g/f? = yepers!!! best.boyfriend.ever.you have a crush on someone? = the one i'm in love with, yes.you wish you could live somewhere else? = sure, sometimesyou think about suicide? = neverothers find you attractive? = shit i dunnoyou want other piercings? = i've always wanted my septum and nipples pierced, but i think i may be done with the whole piercing thing...you want more tattoos? = MOST DEFINITELYyou drink? = yes i doyou do drugs? = noyou smoke? = i quit 1 year, 8 months, and 7 days ago...(still counting! heh)you like cleaning? = no..but i like it when things are clean (i definitely like your answer carmen)you like roller coasters? = yes!!you write in cursive or print? = print, tho it tends to be a blend of both sometimesdo you carry a donor card? = nolong distance relationships = tried that, not into it. well, unless it's that perfect person (matt) and i had to do it-i would. even tho it would suck.using someone = fuck that. it's heartlesssuicide = depressing. i've had way too many friends go that route. too sad...killing people = wrongteenage smoking = bad bad bad decisiondoing drugs = not worth all the downsides premarital sex = can't argue with that one.. ;)driving drunk = ignorantgay/lesbian relationships = nothing wrong with thatsoap operas = haha lame. tho i was once addicted to days of our lives and sunset beach..food = i <3 food! mexican, asian, thai, peanut butter, garlic, salad, bleu cheese, mac and cheese, pastas... mmmmmmmmmmmmsong = favorite? too many to consider. thing to talk about = matt. tehehehe...i like talking about music too, anything really. tho not politics or religion, sorry.sports = i like to watch skateboarding and bmx bikingdrinks = miller high lifeclothes = low rise boot cut jeans, t-shirts (ususally band shirts or ones from thrift stores)movies = are fun to watchcars = take you places you need to gohave you ever...cried over a guy/girl? = oh yeslied to someone? = well yeah. been arrested? = no (knock on wood)what....shampoo do you use? = kroger herbal , rainwater tea tree oilshoes do you wear? = vanshow many...times i have been in love? = um, several i guess. but this one now is the big one!!times i have had my heart broken? = my breakups have always been pretty much mutual in the past.hearts i have broken? = can't answer that boys i have kissed? = dumb questiongirls i have kissed? = haha pretty much all my friends at some point or another...continents i have lived in? = 1drugs taken illegally? = i was young and dumb once or twice...heh.people i could classify as true, could trust with my life friends? = 5 or sopeople i consider my enemies? = i hope i don't have anypeople in high school that i stayed in contact with? = ummm a fewtimes my name has appeared in the newspaper? = severalscars on my body? = i've got a fewthings in my past that i regret? = regrets, well i've had a few. but then again too few to mention....ha ha ha ha (lame)

all that i can give...

last cigarette: 1 year, 8 months, 3 days-and counting!last car ride: with my sister and dad (went to asian wind for dinner last nite)last kiss: mmmmmmm, friday morning when i woke matt up for a kiss before worklast good cry: hmm, it's been a while...last library book checked out: that's been a while too...last movie seen: Identitylast book read: in the process of reading angelas ashes by frank mccourtlast cuss word uttered: i'm gonna go with fuck (it's my favorite)last beverage drank: water/miller high lifelast food consumed: grilled cheese sammich and spinach salad w/bleu cheese dressinglast crush: my crush turned mad love for matt simpsonlast phone call: matty simpslast tv show watched: a pre-recorded friends episode i guesslast time showered: yesterday (and again in about 15 min)last cd played: rose tattoolast downloaded: none yet *cough*last annoyance: worklast disappointment: that my supersuckers record has not arrived yetlast soda drank: i took a sip of my sisters cherry coke yesterday-double yuck!last thing written: hand written? a to do listlast key used: haha backspacelast words spoken: hey baby girl ?? (i was talking to my cat sophie)last sleep: 10 hours ago-and not enough of it.last IM: matt and carmen right nowlast weird encounter: "taz" at the joan jett show friday nitelast ice cream eaten: heath bar blizzardlast time amused: on the phone with mattylast time wanting to die: i don't think like thatlast time in love: currentlylast time hugged: my dad yesterdaylast time scolded: hahalast time resentful: ?last chair sat in: my computer chair right nowlast lipstick used: i wear chapsticklast shirt worn: the one i wore to work today-confuselast time dancing: ?last show attended: the murders, with regard, and the brassknuckle boys saturday nite

it's the little things

where did we meet:how long have you known me:how well do you know me:when you 1st saw me what did you think:my hair & eye colour:have you ever had a crush on me:have I ever had a crush on you:what's one of my favourite things to do:what's my favourite food?one of the first things I said to you:what's my favourite type of music:what's my best physical feature:am I shy or outgoing:would you say I'm funny:am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:any special talents I have:would you consider me a friend:have you ever seen me cry:a good nickname for me would be:am I in love, and with who:have you ever met any of my family:say anything to me here:

workin' 9-5 NOT a way to make a living...hah!

work work work. i'm so sick of it. i'm sick of doing it everyfuckingday and never feeling like i'm getting ahead-or anywhere for that matter! grrrrrrrrrr...

abcd, paranoia's killing me...

a - act your age? eh, yes and no. i take care of myself, but i'm not ready to be a "grown up"b - born on what day of the week? hmmm, maybe i'll have to ask the folksc - chore you hate? keeping up with everything!d - dad's name? robert (bob)e - essential makeup item? burts beeswax (chapstick)f - favorite actor? jason lee, gary oldman, john cusackg - gold or silver? silver.h - hometown? lexvegasi - instruments you play? zero (tho' i still remember some piano and clarinet)j - job title? sandwich artist! hah. cook/kitchen manager?k - kids? two cats: tyrone and sophiel - living arrangements? me and my cats. and matt a lot too! heh.m - mom's name? carolyn (corny)n - number of people you've slept with? baho - overnight hospital stays? not that i can recallp - phobia? arachnophobia! hah. plus i'd say i've got a bit of the obsessive/complusive/analretentive disorder! heh. but wait, those aren't phobias...q - quote you like? " always keep a song in your heart and one on the record player."r - religious affiliation? pbbbbt... s - siblings? 1 sisser, alisat - time you wake up? 7:10 amu - unique habit? how do you catch a unique rabbit? u nique up on it! hahahhav - vegetable you refuse to eat? corn. w- worst habit? hah prolly not being able to leave this damn thing! ugh.x - x-rays you've had? my mouth as far as i can remembery - yummy food you make? boca chix patties topped with mushrooms and garlic sauteed in teriyaki glaze with melted cheese on bread with mayo. and a salad. z - zodiac sign? pisces

no questions asked

hmmm, listening to the very best of fleetwood mac while i dye my hair. i am almost willing to bet that this is the biggest dye mess i've made in all my years. on my body-not the bathroom. ugh. it's rough having long hair sometimes. hah. time to rinse, then eat...

a haircut, how 'bout a haircut?

1. First band you ever saw: bon jovi/cinderella2. Next band you're going to see: joan jett/john prine (keeping my fingers crossed)3. What band(s) did you see last: subhumans {Personal Questions} 1. How old are you? 272. When is your birthday? 3-20-763. What is your full name? rachel barbera{Current Questions} 1. How are you feeling? tired and lazy and productive at the same time..?2. What are you wearing? panties..hehe3. What are you drinking? nothing4. What are you eating? nothing{Random Questions}1. Do you like the number 4? uh, ok.2. Who do you love? matt simpson for one3. Who do you hate? hate is such a harsh word. dislike...now we're talkin' hah.4. Who are you lusting after? matt simpson[nicknames, including from family]rachie, roachie, roach, roachbreath, roachilla da killa, ray-ray...[Chinese zodiac sign?] don't remember[location] lexvegas, ky.[sexual preference] matt simpson [current hair color/length] long (to my bra line) and black with ugly brown highlights. (but not for long, i'm dying it this week damnit!)[eye color] brown [height] 5'8"[shoe size] 7-71/2[Parents still together] most definitely[siblings] one sisser, alisa[nieces/nephews] nopers[kids of your own] i have two cats[grandkids] ah, no[pets] tyrone and sophie[in school/graduated] some college[what do you do for work] i'm a sandwich artist! heh.[how much do you make]yeah, not enough[have any credit cards] nopers[what do you drive] schwinn sidewinderFavorites[color] black/green/pink[number]13, and anything ending in 8 (ex. 48, 38...haha)[animal] cat[vehicle] them old kind. hah.[flower] sunflower[scent] amber[shape] star[drinks] water, hot herbal teas, miller highlife[soda]see above[band(s)]kid dynamite, dillinger four, pinhead gunpowder to name a few[song(s)] shit there's too many[color your hair]most def.[twirl your hair] yeah[have tattoos] 5 and counting[piercing] 0 ga ears (soon enough), lip[have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both] yes. i. do.[drink/smoke]drink[like roller coasters] love rollercoasters[wish you could live somewhere else] yes[want more piercing] my septum and nipples. but i think i'm done with the whole piercing thing..[write in cursive or print] print, but i think it's more of a combination. i like typing the best.[carry a donor card] no[swear a lot] fuckin' a[own a web cam] nope[know how to drive] hah...nah..oops[diet] no[hablar espanol] asi asiHave you ever...[gotten a speeding ticket] no[dui] no[been in a wreck] yes[been arrested] no (knock on wood yo)[been in a fist fight] not exactally[kicked someone in the nuts] on accident[stolen a car] no[stolen anything] nothing worth mentioning[held a gun] a real one? no way[smoked] yes[pot] yes[crack] no[drink] yes[been so drunk you couldn't remember your name] ?[cried over a girl] sure [cried over a boy]yes[lied to someone] yes[had sex outdoors] nopers[fallen for your best friend?] no[made out with JUST a friend] yes[been rejected] nah[been in lust] sure[used someone] no way[been used] prolly[been cheated on] yes[been kissed] yes[experimented with homosexuality] i've kissed many of my female friends in my day...aaaand since i am feeing productive, i'm gonna take this opportunity to walk up the street and get my hairs cut yo.

waiting for the laundry to finish...

LAYER ONE-- Name: rachel barbera-- Birthdate: 3.20.76-- Birthplace: lexvegas. central baptist hospital-- Current Location: lextown baby-- Eye Color: brown-- Hair Color: black/ugly brown highlights -- Height: 5'8-- Righty or Lefty: right-- Zodiac Sign: pisces..LAYER TWO-- Your heritage: italian, irish, and german-- The shoes you wore today: rowleys today. now slippers-- Your weakness: matt simpson!-- Your fears: spiders, all the crazy shit going on in the world today-- Your perfect pizza: cheese and mushrooms and garlic-- Goal you'd like to achieve: find what i want (and will thoroughly enjoy) doing with my lifeLAYER THREE-- Your most overused phrase: fuckin'a, yo, -- Your thoughts first waking up: weekdays-fuck, how many more days till the weekend. weekends-ahhhhhhhh what to do with matty today-- Your best physical feature: hmmmmmmmmm, i dunno-- Your bedtime: week-10-11. weekend-whenthefuckever-- Your most missed memory: it's just sad that i won't be able to make anymore memories with my friends that unfortunately have passed on...LAYER FOUR-- Pepsi or Coke: water-- McDonald's or Burger King: taco bell-- Single or Relationship: relationship! -- Adidas or Nike: vans -- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: herbal teas. usually celestial seasonings-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate-- Cappuccino or coffee: i love coffee, but i don't do the caffine thing anymore...LAYER FIVE-- smoke: nopers-- Cuss: fuckin'a.-- Sing: terribly, but yes.-- Take a shower everyday: yes i love showers-- Have a crush(es): on matt simpson-- Want to go to college: i would like to finish one day-- Like high school: i don't think one way or the other i guess-- Want to get married: someday....-- Believe in yourself: i guess-- Get motion sickness: sometimes-- Think you're attractive: depends on which side of the bed i wake up on...-- Think you're a health freak: yes, but no at the same time! hah-- Get along with your parents: yes-- Like thunderstorms: if i'm cuddled up with matt and can feel safe in his armsLAYER SIX: In the past month...-- Done a drug: no-- Had Sex: yes-- Made Out: yes-- Gone on a date: yeah-- Gone to the mall?: i actually think so-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no-- Eaten sushi: hells no-- Been on stage: no-- Gone skating: i put on a pair of rollerskates the other day...-- Made homemade cookies: no-- Gone skinny dipping: no-- Dyed your hair: no, but i'm doing it soon-- Stolen anything: noLAYER SEVEN: Ever..-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: hahah, yes-- If so, was it mixed company: me and matt goofing around-- Been caught "doing something": maybe...-- Been called a tease: matt calls me a tease-- Gotten beaten up: no, but i have had a black eye-- Shoplifted: no-- Changed who you were to fit: nahLAYER EIGHT-- Age you hope to be married: there's no set age- Numbers and Names of Children: ?? -- Describe your dream wedding: with matt.-- How do you want to die: i dont want to die..or think about it-- Where you want to go to college: lcc haha-- What do you want to be when you grow up: i don't wanna grow up..(if. growning up. means being. like you. then i don't want to........be like you..)-- What country would you most like to visit: franceLAYER NINE: In a boy-- Best eye color? doesn't matter, but i do like dark eyes-- Best hair color? depends on the person-- Short or long hair: depends on the person-- Height: i like 'em a bit taller than me-- Best weight: depends on the person-- Best articles of clothing: depends on the person. matt is always lookin good. i like his small tshirts-- Best first date location: a show-- Best first kiss location: wherever the moment is rightLAYER TEN-- Number of people I could trust with my life: there's a few-- Number of CDs that I own: cds-over 100, vinyl-over 600, tapes-over 100-- Number of piercing: lip and 0ga. ears (well, almost)-- Number of tattoos: 5 and counting-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: several i guess-- Number of scars on my body: several, nothing too crazy tho

blah, my first time.

Ten years ago, I:1. was a senior in high school2. got in a car accident on the way to the bosstones show at bogarts on friday 13th3. worked at baskin robbins?4. couldn't wait to move out5. was happyFive years ago I:1. saw tons and tons of shows2. was dating a fucking loser3. lived in hell4. was 225. got sophie!!Two years ago, I:1. was living in my fave apartment yet with crystal2. was working at the melodeon (still and still am)3. was trying the whole school thing?4. went to lots of shows still5. dating steveOne year ago, I:1. was thinking of getting my own place...2. quit smoking!! (one year, 8 months, and counting)3. finally saw the supersuckers country tour4. went to new orleans5. was 26. hah.Yesterday, I:1. watched Xmen and X2! 2. played on the computer 3. hung out with matt4. organized the apartment some5. hung out with neely and brandon (and matt. hah)Tomorrow, I:1. will work, grrrr2. will go workout with carmen (hopefully)3. will clean more (till this fucking place is done damnit!)4. will play on the computer i'm sure5. will feed and play with trish's catsFive snacks I enjoy:1. hummus2. salad w/bleu cheese3. cheese4. luna bars5. granola barFive songs I know all the words to, even without music:1. paul revere-beastie boys2. stuff and nonsense-supersuckers3. every rose has it's thorn-poison4. bikeage-the descendents5. most old greenday songsFive things I would buy with $1000:1. vinyl2. clothes3. a new bike4. tattoos5. a new bedFive bad habits I have:1. procrastination2. biting the skin around my nails3. slouching4. laziness5. anal retentivenessFive things I would never wear:1. tube top2. daisy dukes3. tennis shoes with no socks5. baggy shirtsFive T.V. shows I like:1. friends2. will and grace3. 902104. roseanne5. behind the musicFive places I've lived:1. walton ave2. lyndhurst place3. aylesford place4. limestone/maxwell5. rose streetFive things that make me laugh:1. matt2. "the chong brothers"3. "where is my car, and why are there two of me"4. old stories5. my friends and familyFive things that scare me:1. becoming a bitter old lady2. death (mine, friends, family)3. severe storms4. airplanes 5. the state the world is in todayFive things I love:1. vinyl2. computer3. tyrone and sophie4. spring breeze coming in the open window5. collecting fliers for showsFive things I hate:1. two faced people2. being lied to3. my landlords (stice and ass.)4. led zeppelin5. killians red beerFive things on my desk:1. water glass2. plant3. pens in cup4. comic strip5. telephoneFive facts about me:1. i quit smoking over 11/2 years ago2. i have tattoos 3. i can be really anal retentive4. i love glam rock5. i do crossword puzzlesFive things I can do:1. type2. cook3. remember dates and phone numbers4. roller skate (a little)5. be a pack ratFive things I can't do:1. play guitar, bass, or drums2. sing3. forget lost friends4. force myself to take writing 101-yet5. drive a carFive things I say the most:1. yo2. fuck3. duder4. whatever....5. i love mattFive peope I love:1. matt2. mom3. dad4. alisa5. trishFive movies I could watch over and over:1. 10 things i hate about you2. high fidelity3. reality bites4. pee wee's big adventure5. say anythingFive places I'd want to go to on vacation:1. oregon (portland)2. france3. austin texas4. new york5. savannah georgiaFive concerts I'd like to see:1. dillinger four2. kid dynamite3. the clash4. weezer5. jawbreaker